Slump Busting

Apologies are in order to all of Warning Track Power's faithful readers for the Darling Asteroids' unexpected hiatus.

Sorry, Mom.

And a super sorry to our pal Keith, GM of last week's opponent, The Blouses. A lack of posts meant no one got to find out what a truly maniacal, annoying psychopath you really are. My bad, bro.

But our week and a half vacation was necessary. The Asteroids needed a little time to themselves. Needed to clear their collective heads.

Needed to watch our favorite Sandra Bullock movies on the couch with a gallon of Peanut Butter Ripple and figure out just what is going on.

Did we miss anything important? Not much, just...

-On Monday, Everyone's Favorite Man struck out a season-high 11 Diamondbacks and lowered his ERA to 3.74. He's won his last five decisions and has six wins total, good for fourth in the league but first in our hearts.

Chad didn't get the W on this night, but the Dodgers eventually emerged victorious on the 173rd most exciting play in baseball...the walk-off balk.

-King Felix finally showed glimmers of his true self, going eight strong against the Angels. He got a no-decision, though, and the Angels won on a walk-off grand slam from Kendry Morales, who broke his ankle in the ensuing celebration

Let that be a lesson to everyone out there: Never have fun.

Kendry eats a Failburger, extra failsauce.

-And of course, Mr. Roy Halladay fired a perfect game on Saturday, only the 20th in history. I missed the game but did receive several text messages from elated friends and family, none of who love baseball as much as I do, but who all still got to witness history with my favorite team.

I'm not bitter. Nope, not me. Not even a little.

A special shout-out to my sister, who sent me the following texts somewhere around the 7th inning...

Court: Hey, are you watching the Phils game?

Me: No, why?

Court: I'll tell you later.

Big ups to Little Sis for knowing and respecting the first rule of a perfect game...don't talk about a perfect game. You're the best, Court. Don't ever change.

Three homeruns by Albert Pujols capped off the week, and The Blouses beat the Asteroids 10-2.

Which brings us to the here and now, and the here and now is not pretty.

What's happening to the Darlings happens to a lot of great teams. Heck, it's happening to the Phillies even as we speak. It is often unavoidable and always inexplicable.

No, not the fact that David Spade keeps finding work. I'm talking about something worse (but just barely).

The Darling Asteroids are in a slump.

We started out the season with two straight ties followed by a three week winning streak. Everything was perfect. The sun shone brighter, and Placido Polanco's giant head bobbed happily. All was right with the world.

And then, quicker than a Rajai Davis triple, things went south.

A 8-4 loss to the Notorious Darlings. A 9-3 loss to Kenny Powers Mullet. Last week's 10-2 annihilation. Hanley Ramirez not hustling. Melky Cabrera sucking in general.

And Juan Pierre, picked up for his speed two weeks ago, has exactly two steals since joining the team. Thanks for nothing, JP.

If slumps are a mystery in the world of sports, the bigger mystery is...how do you bust out of one?

Some players try new socks. Others try new batting stances, new routines, not shaving...whatever. Humans are superstitious beings, and athletes in particular.

Anything that might give you that spark you're looking for can't be discounted.

Well, my friends, have I got great news for you. I know the secret for slump busting, and I'm going to share it with you.

His name is Stephen Strasburg, and he will save us all.

Come with me if you want to live.

Highly touted and anticipated, The Chosen One will make his professional debut on Tuesday, June 8th versus the Pittsburgh Pirates.

After blowing through the minor leagues, posting a 1.43 ERA and 60 strikeouts in 50.1 innings, it is time.

Mark you calendars, dear friends, for this is a day that will change everything. Not only the fate of the Washington Nationals but the fate of the Darling Asteroids themselves.

You will always remember where you were when you first saw Mr. Stephen's 100-MPH Wild Ride.

In fact, the Darling Asteroids' season is officially broken into two parts. The first era, Before Stephen Strasburg, was marked with inconsistent and disappointing play.

But the second era...oh, the second era will be magical.

Defined by greatness. Marked by triumph. Stamped by glory. The world is our oyster as we dive full-speed ahead into the second era...After Stephen Strasburg.

From here on out, it's all about A.S.S.

This guy knows what I'm talking about.