Royalston Rumble's GM is my old BU friend Nate, who is one heck of a guy with one heck of a tragic flaw. In the John Rocker Invitational, Nate is The Guy Who Makes A Lot of Trade Offers.
Now, I'm all about trades. Anything that can upgrade the Darlings is welcome, and the chess match of offers and counter offers is downright exciting.
But Nate, buddy, you go a little overboard. Your offers are frequent, they are constantly one-sided, and they always prominently feature Dan Uggla. So let me say this, just for the record:
I do not want Dan Uggla and I never, ever will.
In real world news, Ubaldo Jimenez toes the rubber tonight, bringing his absurd 0.78 ERA and league-leading ten wins with him.
And, as is often the case, the historical whispers have begun.
Usually it's something like, "Hey, so and so is hitting .500 after one month...do you think he can hit .400 on the season?"
Or, even better, "Johnny Whats-His-Face has hit in 20 straight games. He's less than half way to 56! Can he do it?!"
These whispers are always premature and completely ridiculous, but hey, it keeps Tim Kurkjian out of trouble.
Don't do drugs, kids. Do baseball!
In Ubaldo's case, he appears to be chasing Bob Gibson's hollowed ERA mark of 1.12, set in 1968. And the whispers are all asking the same question:
"Is Jimenez's season more impressive than Big Bob's?"
Allow me to save you some time, whispers, and answer that question for you. It's a two-parter, so stay focused.
Part One: Yes.
Part Two: You are all idiots.
Why? Because Gibson season happened over forty freakin' years ago, when the game was much different.
Specifically, the pitcher's mound was higher. Five inches higher, to be exact, and this gave pitchers a big advantage.
So much so that 1968 is sometimes called "The Year of the Pitcher," and the mound was lowered from 15 to 10 inches the following season to give hitters a fighting chance.
Imagine if LeBron James set the single season record for points...but did so because they lowered the rim by one foot. Suddenly, this record seems a bit skewed, no?
The problem is that baseball historians try to play by their own rules.
Sports in general now operate in the realm of "Yeah, but..." with all its happenings being beaten to death and overanalyzed to the point that nothing is certain and no one is great.
Phil Jackson has won ten NBA titles as a coach.
Yeah, but...he got to coach Jordan, Shaq and Kobe. Anyone would have won with those guys!
Tom Brady has won three Super Bowls.
Yeah, but...he lost one Super Bowl to the Giants, and he's nothing without Bill Belichick!
The Undertaker is a perfect 18-0 at Wrestlemania, even though he's died a few times.
Yeah, but...wait, really? 18-0? That's amazing.
I knew you'd see it his way.
Yet for some reason, "Yeah, but..." doesn't apply to baseball.
Discrepancies like mound height, or the entire twenty years known as the "Dead Ball Era," don't get brought up because historians want to pretend that the game hasn't changed and the numbers transcend generations.
They'd like you to believe that you can compare players regardless of eras.
"Babe Ruth is obviously the best player ever. Just look at his stats!"
Give it a rest, whispers. Every aspect of humanity has progressed at a break-neck pace. Science, technology, travel and medicine have all made leaps and bounds in innovations, and the only thing that hasn't evolved over the last twenty years is my sense of humor.
Farts are still funny, and they always will be.
So if an athlete accomplishes a feat nowadays, it's safe to assume that it's more impressive than a similar feat achieved back in the '60s.
Modern ballplayers are much better conditioned, and they're playing against the best competition in the world. I feel very comfortable asserting that baseball today is much, much harder than it was in Don Draper's time.
If Ubaldo's ERA is even comparable to Gibson's by season's end, there is no doubt about which is better.
Just like there is no doubt that we are going to Hulk up, say our prayers, eat our vitamins, and hit Royalston Rumble with USA-powered leg drop this weekend.
Whatcha' gonna do, Nate, when the Darling Asteroids run wild on you?
2 comments:
Well said. I have been reading your stuff for a couple weeks now kid and I really like what I see. You have real talent.
Thank you, kind stranger.
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