They're Killing Independent Jacob

Despite what your mommy always told you, the world is messed up.

I'm sure when you were little she would tuck you in at night and read you a cute little bedtime story.

Probably some talking turtle and squirrel having a whacky adventure. Probably a lesson about sharing at the end. The details aren't important.

And after the story she'd kiss your little forehead and tell you that you're different, that you're special.

That you can be anything you want to be.

But most importantly, she'd tell you that if you were honest and kind and tried your darndest, everything would always work out.

Well, bad news, Johnboy: Your mommy was a damn fool.

What an idiot.

The truth, friends, is that the world is not black and white. It is often gray and murky, cold and unforgiving.

Sometimes, it's just plain mean.

And no amount of good deeds will negate the fact that someday, we're all going to have to make choices.

Choices with no clear cut right or wrong. Choices which, regardless of the outcome, will leave you feeling hollow and unfulfilled.

For me, that day is today.

A day when my allegiance will be put to the ultimate test.

A day when my moral fibers will be strained, twisted, hung out and beaten worse than the Pittsburgh Pirates on a 10-game road trip.

On one hand, the Darling Asteroids sit ten points out of a playoff spot with four weeks to play. This season is far from over.

With Mo Rivera, Michael Young and Adam Wainwright joining the fray, we believe we have what it takes to make a late run.

We have a fire in our eyes and hunger in our bellies. We are determined. We are strong.

No one can tell us we're wrong.

On the other hand, my hometown Phillies are smack dab in the middle of the NL East hunt, their traditional second half surge pulling them within games of Atlanta.

With less than two months to play, every win is vital.

Every double down the line, every seeing-eye single, every late-inning rally could be the difference between an early vacation and October glory.

And therein lies the problem.

Today, the Phillies play the second game of a three game set versus the Los Angeles Dodgers.

If you know anything about me, anything at all, I believe you can see where this is headed.

I just wish it didn't have to come to this.

I hoped this wouldn't happen.

I prayed to Jesus, prayed to Yahweh, prayed to Allah. Heck, I even threw Vishnu and Buddha a bone.

Like Rickey Henderson in his prime, I had all the bases covered.

But it was no use. There is nothing more I can do.

Despite all my best efforts, my two worlds will collide.

Everyone's Favorite Man toes the rubber tonight against the Phillies...and I have the biggest decision of my life to make.

This chick had it easy.

It's a choice every fantasy GM has to make at some point during the season: Who do I root for?

If this contest were early in the season, it'd be no contest at all: Let's go Phils. Sorry, Mufasa.

But these are the dog days of August, and while the game isn't a must-win for Philly, this week is certainly a must-win for the Darling Asteroids.

In a perfect world, Chad would twirl a gem of a ballgame and the Braves would also lose, costing the Phillies no ground in the standings.

Or, in a different perfect world, Chad would go 8 2/3, strikeout 20 batters but lose 1-0 on a Carlos Ruiz walkoff.

The Asteroids would get some stats, but the Phils would get the W.

But spoiler alert, friends: We don't live in a perfect world, and there's little doubt how this saga plays out.

First, Chad will get shelled. Something like seven runs in 2 1/3 innings. The Darlings' ERA and WHIP will skyrocket.

Staked to a comfortable lead, Charlie Manuel will go to his bullpen early to preserve Roy Oswalt, who's no Roy Halladay.

The Dodgers will slowly chip away at the Phils' pen, culminating with a two-run homer off Brad Lidge in the 9th.

I would hope, as a shred of silver lining, that the perfect Matt Kemp hits this tater, resulting in something that resembles good news for the struggling Asteroids.

But alas. It's probably going to be Casey Blake. I hate my life.

No win for Chad, no win for the Phils, and the Braves will likely hurl two perfect games against Houston to boot.

I think back to my worst fantasy defeat, which luckily resulted in a moment of real triumph.

On the last day of the 2007 season, Jimmy Rollins stole two bases, scored two runs and helped secure the Phillies first postseason berth since I was seven years old.

J-Roll's big day, however, knocked me out of first place in a league I'd spent all summer dominating.

I was momentarily furious. Jimmy, how could you do this to me?!

That's what you get.

But of course, I couldn't stay mad at him for long.

Brett Myers soon froze Wily Mo Pena on a knee-buckling curveball in the 9th, and a joyous dogpile of red and white ensued in the center of Citizens Bank Park.

So that's the constant struggle a fantasy GM must endure.

Maybe your fantasy team is cruising towards a title. Maybe your actual team is seated comfortably in first...but the two rarely coincide.

Tonight's game, for me at least, is a win-lose situation.

Regardless of the outcome, I'll likely have a reason to fist pump...but also a reason to sulk. I just wish I could have it both ways.

I wish I could have my baseball cake and eat it too.

I wish Chad could get his tenth win of the season, yet somehow the Phillies end up closer to a 4th straight NL East crown.

But it's not that simple. Love never is.

It's a freaking battlefield, man.